Horoscopes and the lies they tell

Well, they work sometimes

I have been doing a 30 day blog challenge and it seems that if I did it properly, today I would be on my 22nd post. Today, we would be discussing how the past two years have changed my life. I will not be doing that for the simple reason that I have only done 16 posts so far, which means today I should be tackling prompt number 18. It reads, ‘Something you can’t seem to get over.’ I will however also not be tackling this because as I said a few posts back, the enemy should not know your next steps.

Today is Friday and I feel like the horoscope is most talked about today. I am not a believer in the horoscope mainly because it always provides vague answers. If you are going to tell me what is going to happen, you better tell me something that is unique to me but hey, kila mtu kwa raha zake.

Just to see how wrong these things usually are we’ll sample a few horoscopes for a Scorpio, today. What’s that? You thought it would only be one statement/scenario? Me too until I went online and found each website has their own take on what’s to happen to me today and in the upcoming weeks

Let’s start off with www.horoscope.com

Your mind might be on power struggles that have caused quarrels among your friends, placing you in an uncomfortable position. Conflicting loyalties might come up when others draw you into the fray, Scorpio. Stay out of it! You could get angry, and this wouldn’t do you any good. Think of something else until you calm down and regain your perspective.

You know why I call BS on this? I don’t have friends. Ok, I don’t have a large number of friends so causing quarrels among them isn’t a thing that can happen. And what are these power struggles they speak of? I don’t even have power over when I wake up in the morning. NEEEEXT!

This one from Elle Magazine is making me happy. It says

Make way for the muse! Your creative and spiritual juices will be flowing in the coming weeks as the Sun enters Libra and your twelfth house of divine inspiration until October 22. When you’re not meditating under a canopy of stars (and even while you are) your attention turns to healing and closure. Get into the ring to wrap up any unfinished business and let go of old grudges that are getting in your way. But make sure no one leaves with lasting damage! Forgiveness is the f-word you’ll want to embrace. Roll with the punches as best you can, and if you start to feel bruised, ask for help from a trusted friend, healer or therapist.

I am here for this. My creative juices will be flowing, I don’t know what spiritual juices are but yaaaaas! Apparently I have old grudges and I should forgive these people. I agree. I can keep a grudge for long and I know I still have one from 15 years ago but I choose to bury it because it was a childish mistake and the person involved has now become mature…I hope.

You’re walking between worlds today, one foot in the metaphysical realm and the other in the three-dimensional plane known as Earth. The boundary between real and imaginary is a magical place that you might enjoy calling home for a while. You may be so enamored with the possibilities that you want to brainstorm with your friends in order to push the envelope as far as you can. Be discerning in your choice of travel companions for the most enlightening experience. Morgan Freeman said, “If you’re not living on the edge then you’re taking up a little too much space.”

I do not understand what is happening here. The last time I used the word metaphysical was three years ago in my philosophical anthropology class. A class I still did not understand what was going on. But I do agree with Morgan Freeman. I see no lies in his statement.

I should have read this from astroyogi before leaving the house.

You are in an ambitious and competitive frame of mind today. This is fine for certain spheres of life, but try not to become aggressive, especially around family, suggest astroYogi astrologers. Moon in Libra will help you navigate through problems with diplomacy. Know that you can be assertive in order to get what you want, without stepping on anyone`s toes. Maintain your emotional balance today. Wear something in green to stay positive. 4 pm to 6 pm is your lucky time.

Apparently I should have worn something green. The only green thing I am wearing today is jealousy. Actually no, I am okay. I am positive and living life without the colour green. As I write this, it’s a few minutes to 6pm and so far nothing has happened. So calling BS on this too.

We have come to the conclusion that this don’t work, but what about the personality traits of scorpios, do I have any matches? I googled scorpio personality traits and chose the first google result.

Focused – I will say sometimes but it will not last long. Maybe an hour or two.

Brave – I see lies here. On most occasions, I am not. I am not a brave person.

Balanced – Yes, I try to be level-headed a lot of times and it works. Secret is not getting your nose in everyone’s business.

Faithful – I see no lies here.

Ambitious – yes, but I see the work before the success to be, well, a lot of work.

Intuitive – yes, I do things based on instincts and the few times I have ignored my instincts I have had a bad time

Jealous – very much so

Secretive – sometimes. It depends if the secret is about me or another person. If It about another person and I have a friend near, I will whisper it to them and tell them not to tell anyone.

Resentful – very much so

Manipulative – tried it a bit but this has nothing to do with personality it is just uhm my face.

What did we learn? The horoscope is a bunch of lies. It might work for some people hence why it is so revered in some cultures. If it works then no need to repair it. For me it hasn’t worked so adios muchacho (I’m talking to the horoscopes)


5 Replies to “Horoscopes and the lies they tell”

  1. Funny cause some of these horoscopes apply to my life right now. And I’m not even a Scorpio

    1. Now you see? That’s the problem. They are so vague, they can fit anyone

      1. Exactly. We’d rather follow the signs we see in real life

  2. hi, I have nominated you to Mystery Blogger Award and you can check the link below for more information. Mystery Blogger Award

    1. Yeah, I saw that yesterday. How does this work? Does someone get an award at the end or is it kind of a networking award?

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