Getting out of doing things is a very fulfilling feeling. By just saying a few words, you can get out of hanging out with friends, going for that team building exercise or leaving the house altogether. I wish those words were, “I don’t want to.” But that is considered a dick move and no one wants that. For me I just pretend I never saw the text, the blue ticks on WhatsApp are lying or I forgot the date. I have done this severally but I am almost always forgiven for that ‘I am shy’. I do not fight it because it comes in handy severally.
Most people think that shyness=introversion. This is not the case. You can be shy but extroverted. How you ask? This is because introversion and extraversion depends on how much recharging you need after 2 hours of hanging out with other people. Shyness only depends on how confident you feel in front of other people. Introversion and shyness may present as the same thing because a person can be both. One of these persons is me.
An introverted person will be down for a night around the town but at 1 pm, they can’t take it anymore and they will NEED to go home. They will not be up for another plan in a week or two but will be up for it soon.
A shy person on the other hand will unwillingly come out for a party and when they do, they will follow you around and utter a total of 2 words the entire night.
I am sure that I am introverted but my shyness depends on a lot of factors. My introversion is the crippling factor of my daily interactions. You will tell me that we will have a party in two weeks’ time and I will think of nothing else except that party. I will be elated that you thought of me and I will be prepared and ready to be the life of the party on the day. On the d-day though I will psyche myself out and call back with the excuse of that my cat is not feeling well and I am giving it a sponge bath. I will go ahead and beat myself up for it because I had seen all the crazy things I was gonna do. I practiced some dances and flirted with myself in the mirror just in case the opportunity presented itself. I was ready.
Did I get shy or did I feel like I would need this energy for something else. I would check the introversion box in this scenario. This is because I have no problem with meeting people for the first time if this is the only time I’ll be meeting them. This is mostly true if it is in a social setting. The moment you bring things like, “Hi Rachael, meet Jake, he will be coming to work in your department on Monday.” Everything will go south because I know that now I have appearances to make. I can’t give a first bad impression that will be spoken about on every team building and stories around the office. I will not have that!
My shyness stems from a lot of overthinking. How will this sentence sound when I say it loud? Does this statement need to be said? Will they forget that I am in the room if I am quiet for too long? These are just some of the things that go through my head. I do not have these thoughts if I am meeting you for the first and last time. I am actually good company and will give you stories like never before. I seem outgoing and that is because I will not be around for when you judge me and speak about me to your friends. See? It isn’t that difficult. However, regardless of all this I will be very poor company in two hours’ time because I will need to leave and go be by myself for several weeks. It is what it is.