An open letter to my long-time friend, procrastination.

A letter to procrastination
A letter to procrastination
It’s quite an unhealthy relationship

How you doin’ boo?

I am not sure why I am writing this since I saw you this morning and you might still come back even before I am done writing this. But…but I want you to know that I have never invited you in. You break doors, break windows, leave some chocolates at my door just to lure me towards you. What are these crazy mind games you are playing?

Let’s face it, I kinda sorta like when you are around. I hate you but I love you so much, I just can’t explain. Si you remember last Sunday instead of working on the blog how we slept and spent every waking moment on YouTube with the autoplay feature on? It was a nice Sunday that one. But you know why I hate you. I could have written content for seven days and scheduled. It is not that hard is it?

So here are some general rules I want us to follow so that this relationship (seems it’s never ending) would be beneficial for both of us.

  1. Leave that flamboyant red dress with thigh high slits and leather jacket at home

When you come dressed like this you know we get nothing done. We spend the whole day on Youtube seeing how to do wavy eyebrows and how to walk in heels. Guess what, I do not own any brow gel or brush and I don’t have a single pair of heels. Now my YouTube recommendation is filled with videos of colour changing hair dye, how to wear mascara and a lot of Tati videos. If this is how my life is supposed to shape out could we please at least spare time to go buy some makeup or something. Please!

  1. Take longer between visits

I am getting suspicious of how many times you come around. Do you live on my welcome mat? I do not even visit my mother this much and she gave birth to me. You, you just appeared. I did not labour, I did not give birth to you. I did not go somewhere and pick you from a shelf so what business do you have being around so much? I know it is love because I am a very complicit participant but I could do without seeing you three times a day. Now that I wrote it down and you read it, do you see how that frequency can’t be good? Don’t you have friends? I know I don’t, but do you?

  1. Promise to never let me faint from fatigue

People work hard. Those people and me use very different routes to success. You remember Lilly Singh, don’t pretend you don’t know her, we’ve watched almost all her videos. She once fainted because of working so hard. She had to get a drip! That doesn’t seem healthy at all seeing that I already don’t drink enough water nor indulge in healthy diets. So if you ever let me faint because I worked too hard, we gonna have problems. I know you love me and I love you too *kisses*. Don’t. Let. Me. Faint. I am not even joking!

  1. Let me practice what I have seen

Last Saturday was a very productive day. I identified you as a leech and decided to do something about it. I watched a TED Talk about how to find extra time (I think it was called). It was about how finding time is not the problem it is identifying your priorities. The woman had some pretty good advise and I was even pushed to come up with a timetable. As I was reaching for the notebook, I felt your soft hands on mine and I was smitten once again. So we sat down and opened several useless tabs and watched while sipping on Hibiscus tea. It was a lovely night. That was before I realised that I learned nothing from that TED talk.

  1. Please stop with the ‘Look at me, I’m the captain now’

I know I might be powerless but I think this statement is hypnotic. I have set out a goal of sleeping at 9:45 or 10:00pm latest so that I can wake up at 7:00am, well rested. Guess how many times I have actually accomplished this this week? A total of *Drumroll* zero times. Yesterday we had the audacity of sleeping at 1:00am. Like can we stop, I am not getting the appeal of this and I wake up tired If we are going to sleep at such odd hours can we do something interesting at least. I’ll let you come up with the ideas.

Getting excited to hearing from you. I will make this one request though, can the reply come through e-mail or post. I am trying to detox from you and the pro con list doesn’t look good for you. You can come visit in October, we might be having a long week of presidential elections. No you will not stay the whole week, maybe 12 hours, not all at once though.



What say you?